January Birthdays

I just realized that Tyler will be one NEXT Friday!  How the hell did that happen?  I really need to get on my horse and get Tyler and Kaitlyn's birthday party planned.  It's in two weeks because we are doing a joint birthday party because we have so many out-of-town family members and it's not fair making them drive down twice in one month, especially since that month is right after Christmas.  We'll probably do joint parties until the kids start to have their friends come over for their parties and then I'll start to do them separately. 

I am going to do a Mickey Mouse Clubhouse theme for them because Kaitlyn is absolutely in love with that show and it's boy friendly too so it all works out well.  I'll mostly decorate with balloons and streamers.  I'm not going overboard like some people do with their kids birthday parties.  My family won't care about decorations anyway.  They'll just be interested in the food.  I am going to do tex mex food with my crock pot chicken tacos as the main course.  Maybe I'll do a black bean soup or chicken tortilla soup in my nice new crock pot I got for Christmas.  I'll have to get one of those little crock pots for queso or a warm spinach and artichoke dip.  Of course I'll have Jerry make his guacamole or my mom will go bat shit crazy.  Everyone loves his guacamole so it's a definite must. 

I'll get their cake from Publix because I know they do a Clubhouse cake and they also do a free smash cake for first birthdays.  They do a really good job with decorating cakes and they taste great too.  I'll get a vanilla cake with strawberry filling because Kaitlyn said she wanted a strawberry cake and she wanted a vanilla cake for Tyler and that will be the perfect combination for her.

We're going to get them a wagon for their gift.  It'll be easier to pull to the park than pushing the stroller.  The stroller takes up the whole sidewalk and I fell bad when people have to walk in the grass just to let us pass.  it will also be easier at Halloween when they are both trick-or-treating.  I haven't decided what smaller things we will get them since they are still overwhelmed by all the stuff they got for Christmas.  Maybe we'll just get the wagon and some clothes.  They didn't get a whole lot of clothes for Christmas and can always use more.

I have so much to do and so little time. 

An Open Letter to My Sperm Donor

Dear Sperm Donor,

I abhor and detest you more than I ever have in my entire life.  That's pretty bad considering our history.  It makes me ill that we have the same blood running through our veins.  What's worse is that my children also have your blood running through their veins and I am appalled.

I wonder all the time if you live in some parallel universe where you are father of the year.  You must; it's the only explanation I have for your delusions of your "relationship" you have with me and my children.  Either that or you're mentally ill which is the rational explanation, but I'm going to stick with the alternate universe theory.

Why am I so angry you ask?  Let me show you.  I am a disappointment to you?  Oh yeah, that's right!  I abandoned YOU at the young age of 10 never to be seen again and only rarely sending you a card on your birthday and Christmas.  Of course let's not forget that lasted only a few short years and then I disappeared until your junior year of college around the time your grandfather passed away. 

You are worried that your "grandchildren" may not know you?  Guess what?  I'm 33 years old and I don't know you!  The VERY few memories I do have of you are mostly negative.  Even the one good memory I do have of you is mostly negative because you thought it would be a good idea to put a little girl on a motorcycle in the middle of WINTER!  Great parenting there.  Maybe that's what got you father of the year in your alternate reality.

I'm not even going to go into the beatings you gave my mother and the anger and hurt that left me with because this is about you and me and why I have cut ties with you.  This is the EXACT reason I disconnected from you.  You stole a picture of MY daughter and Lord knows where it is now on the interweb.  If I want to post pictures of MY beautiful children, then that's MY right, not yours.  You have absolutely ZERO claim to my children and I'm going to keep it that way.  You have proven to me time and time again that you do not deserve me or my children in your life.  You have done nothing for me and I don't expect you to ever do anything for my children, nor do I want you to for that matter.

Sincerely,
The Zygote you happened to create.

Busy Little Bee

I've been super busy at work and at home.  Of course it's always like this around this time of year.  It starts with Halloween, then a birthday for two of my young cousins, then my birthday, an aunt's birthday and then an uncle followed by Thanksgiving, 2 more cousins' birthdays, Christmas, my papa's birthday, new years and then my dad's birthday, Tyler's birthday and the Kaitlyn's birthday.  That's a lot going on in a short amount of time.  Throw in state testing, the end of 1st semester and exams at work and I'm exhausted and ready for a nice long vacation.  I do get a two week winter break at the end of December beginning of January (depends on when we go back to school in August) but I usually spend that time getting ready for Christmas and the many places we will travel on Christmas Eve and Christmas day. 

This year is especially busy for me because my momnesia has been kicking my ass lately.  Instead of doing everything all at once, I have to constantly go to the store because I forgot one little thing and then remember that it really wasn't one thing, it was two and on and on and on.  Not to mention there are three new babies in the family this year and of course I would love to get them something, but since I'd have to ship it, it's really not worth it.  Not to mention these people never remember my children around the holidays so why should I remember theirs?  I know that's kind of a harsh way to look at things, but why would I spend money on other peoples children without their recognition of mine?  I could just spend that money on my children.  Plus, I'm still waiting on a thank-you card for the gifts I gave my cousin, not to mention the 5 bags of baby stuff I gave her for her baby, when her daughter was born.  I'm all about reciprocity.  There are way too many people in my family to buy for around the holidays, so I'll just stick to those who are near and remember me and mine.

Anyway, I'm going to have to do double duty because for whatever reason, my husband keeps forgetting to buy presents for his side of the family.  If I leave it up to him, then it's never going to get done.  I'll ask him for suggestions, but I'm going to end up doing all the ordering and shipping. 

Off to Amazon I go!

Momnesia

If you didn't already know, when you get pregnant your brain gets sucked into your placenta.  Then, when you give birth, they throw away your placenta and you will never be the same again.

I used to have a great memory.  I can remember faces of people who I've only met one and for a brief period.  I can remember things that happen on certain dates like they are important pieces of history.  I remember in vivid details things that happened to me starting at age three.  I can remember conversations and often use them against my husband when we are arguing.

However, since I've had Kaitlyn, I can't remember shit.  Nada, nothing, zero.  It has since gotten worse with Tyler.  If it does not involve my children and their well being and happiness, it must be written down, or it will be forgotten in a matter of minutes because I WILL be distracted by something else.

I have missed meetings, appointments, tutoring sessions, etc.  I have to write everything in my Outlook calendar with reminders going off every 30 minutes if things are going to get done.  I am constantly checking calendars and e-mails to make sure I'm not missing anything.  Last week, I kept reminding myself all day that I had tutoring at 2:00.  I also told myself that I needed to stop by Old Navy on the way home and check to see if they had any sales on winter clothes because she was in desperate need.  By the time 2:00 rolled by, I was ready to pack up and leave school.  We are contracted to stay until 2:20 and unless anyone needs me, I leave.  Of course I forgot about tutoring, but I didn't even remember until the next day when I reminded myself that I had tutoring in the afternoon.  Later that same day, I was thrilled that I realized it was Friday.  Then it hit me that it was FRIDAY, not Thursday and I had missed tutoring.  I fired off an apologetic e-mail to the other teacher who tutors for English.  Of course she was nice about it but I still felt awful for the kids.  I mean, it's not like they're learning rocket science or anything like that, but obviously they need help and I wasn't there to help them. 

So now, EVERYTHING is written in my Outlook calendar with reminders going off every 10 minutes.  I need to learn how to link it to my phone so I still get reminders when I'm at home too.  Gotta love momnesia.

Oh My Eleven!

Tyler is 11 months old today!  I just really can't believe how fast the time does go.  I totally remember when Kaitlyn was 11 months and all the things she did then.

I've said it before and I'll say it again; Tyler is an eating machine.  There isn't ANYTHING that he will not eat.  The other night I gave him a baby pickle to eat and I thought he would make a face and throw it on the floor.  No way, not my kid.  He sucked and chewed on it until I had to fish the too big bite out of his angry mouth and break it in tiny pieces that he could eat.  When I give him mixed veggies he'll eat the peas first, then carrots, then green beans, then the corn.  He does this every time and he is pretty methodical about it.  He's feeding himself with his cute little pincer grasp and drinking water from a sippy cup.  I'm going to start giving him 2 ounces of formula in his sippy cup to help ease the transition away from the bottle when the time comes.  Plus, when he goes into the toddler room, he will have to drink out of a cup all day with no bottles.

Speaking of eating and before transitioning to his next milestone, Tyler will say nom, nom while he eats.  It is the cutest thing ever.  He says it pretty much the whole time he is eating.  His daycare teachers absolutely love it when he does it and encourage him to do it which is fine by me because I encourage it too.

Did you catch that?  He's talking!  And he's signing too!  I was so happy when he signed his first word "more".  He clapped his little hands together and said "mah mah".  I was really thrilled when he also signed "milk".  He'll sign it when he sees his bottle and then as he's drinking it he signs the whole time.  It's really cute.  The most important word he's finally saying now is "Ma Ma"!  I've been waiting so long to hear him say that.  He's been saying da da since he was about 5 or 6 months.  Not actually meaning daddy, just babbling, but he would NEVER babble ma ma.  Now he not only babbles it, he looks at me and says it.  I die from the cuteness.  He also says dog and duck which to someone else may sound the same but even my mom says they sound different to her.

He blows kisses.  Well, he puts his hand up to his mouth if you ask him to blow a kiss.  He'll also give you a kiss if you ask him.  He usually only gives me kisses, but on occasion he will give Kaitlyn, daddy and grandma a kiss if he's in a good mood.  Sometimes you do have to watch out because his kisses can turn into bites on the chin.  OUCH!

He's sooooooooo very close to walking.  He thinks it's so funny when you ask him to try to walk that he usually throws his head back and laugh.  Then of course he falls down and just crawls over to you.  You have to catch him letting go of things and taking steps.  We push the coffee table far away from the couch so he has to take steps.  Most of the time he'll just lower himself down and crawl, but on occasion he will take that one step and continue cruising without missing a beat.  Pretty soon he will gain the confidence to take steps on his own and then it's really going to be a nightmare trying to keep up with him.

He's still such a happy little boy.  He loves his momma the most, but his sister and dog fall a close second.  He gets excited to see any family member that he knows and will show it by going to them even if I am holding him. 

I can't believe that he's been with us for almost a whole year.  Time to start planning his first birthday extravaganza.  (It will be an extravaganza because we are going to celebrate Kaitlyn's third birthday on the same day.  I tend to go overboard with these things :)

So Different

I never realized that having a boy is sooooooooooo much different than having a girl.  Having Kaitlyn and Tyler has opened my eyes to gender differences being nature, not nurture in a big way.

~Kaitlyn LOVED to be swaddled.  She was swaddled for most of the day and all night until she learned how to roll over and even then I just took her arms out and swaddled her bottom half.  I stopped swaddling her around 6 months because by then she could wriggle out of it at night and I didn't feel that was safe.  Tyler HATED it.  He hated having his arms pinned and would fidget like you wouldn't believe.  I still swaddled his lower half and left his arms free at night, but abandoned the swaddle around 3 months.

~Kaitlyn was content in her 5x5 area and played happily and quietly.  As soon as Tyler figured out he could roll, he was out of his playroom.  He had to explore every part of the house even though he had to climb up to get into the next room.  (Our rental house had a lot of sunken areas because it was built on a hill, so every room had a "step up".)

~Kaitlyn was a quiet observer.  She watched very contently to what people were doing and saying, and then would mimic everything.  Tyler is loud!  You know when he's coming and going.  When you try to teach him something, he jumps right in before you finish and it come out half right and half wrong.

~Kaitlyn did not want anything to do with Peanut.  He was a happy dog back then.  She really could have cared less.  Tyler seeks him out and will crawl at lightening speed to get him.  He pulls his fur, ears and tail all the time and constantly head butts him or lays on him.  Peanut spends most of his time on the run.

~Kaitlyn was very cautious.  She really didn't start playing on the playground until she was 2.  She hated to get hurt and tended to stay away from things that could potentially hurt her.  She still freak out if she's even a little bit hurt.  Tyler looks for pain.  He runs head first into everything.  If you tell him to find someone, he spots them in the room and then puts his head down and crawls toward them till he hits them with his head.  He even throws himself on the floor because he thinks it's fun!  I think he's getting a helmet from my mom for Christmas because she HATES that he uses his head as a bettering ram.

~Kaitlyn was always a sound sleeper.  Once she fell asleep, she stayed asleep until it was time for her to wake up in the morning.  She never fussed or really made a peep once she started sleeping through the night at 1 month old.  Tyler moans and groans in his sleep.  He doesn't wake up, but boy is he a noisy sleeper.  Jerry constantly goes in his room to check up on him at night to make sure he's alright and not smashed into his crib rails.  (He usually always is and Jerry will pull him to the bottom of his crib.)  He still sleeps for 10 hours, but it's a restless 10 hours.

There are many other differences, but I don't know how to explain them without talking in circles.  I just never knew how many innate gender differences there are with boys and girls.  I thought it was how children were raised by their parents.  I know now that some things are just programmed into us because of our chromosomes.  Interesting, no?

Hi Yah!

We have signed Kaitlyn up for karate classes that are being offered at her daycare.  The dojo comes to the center on Tuesdays and will accept children starting at 2.  Her first class was yesterday and she absolutely loved it.  When I got home from my late meeting yesterday, she was all excited to show me her karate moves.  She kept running around the house yelling Hi Yah!  Then she would jump in the air and try to kick both legs out.  Not really sure that's what they taught her, but that's what she came away with.  She also said she learned to do elbow drops and it was really cute watching her do it.  She had the biggest smile on her face while she was "demonstrating".

We have already had the talk with her prior to her starting classes that she was not to use what she learned in class on anyone, especially her little brother.  I'm sure they also reinforce this in class because any good Dojo would teach their students that karate is used as a form of exercise and to teach discipline.  Kaitlyn has never been an aggressive kid, so I'm not really worried about her trying to drop and elbow on any of her friends. 

I enrolled Kaitlyn in karate for many reasons, one being I want her to gain a lot more self confidence in herself.  She's a little shy when it comes to defending herself and I want her to be able to tell the more aggressive children what she's feeling without having a meltdown like most kids would.  She has such a little voice that people don't always hear what she's trying to say and I want her to be able to use a big voice to get her point across.  (Note I did not say loud voice.)  I also am tired of her not trying things or giving up on the first try.  I'm hoping karate will teach her perseverance and to keep at things until she gets it done.  I also want Kaitlyn to participate in many different things and this is a really convenient way for her to be active.  She's too young to be running from soccer practice to dance classes to piano lessons, but she's still involved in an activity.  It's really a win win situation in our household and even if she doesn't stick with it in the long run at least she can say she knows karate.

Where does the time go?

Time is flying by me at warp speed these days and it does not make me happy.  My Thanksgiving break was a whirlwind of getting ready for Thursday dinner, I cooked, and taking care of the kids since they were not in daycare.  Hello insane amount of money we saved, goodbye to it all on dinner.  (I don't really think I spent close to $400 on dinner, but it felt like it.)  I really didn't get to spend too much time with my family on Thanksgiving because I was so busy with cooking.  Jerry was running around trying to clean up the miscellaneous things that needed to be put away and the kids were running around like maniacs.  I had to finally walk them down to my mom's house so they could have a nap and I could concentrate on cooking.  My mom did come down after giving the kids a bath and a nap to help out and I am so thankful for that because I was a little behind on some sides thanks to Jerry not prepping his stuff before assembly.  After dinner I fell asleep on the floor while everyone watched football so there wasn't a whole lot of conversation and socializing going on with me.  (It did not help that my siblings got their new phones the night before and were literally glued to them and barely spoke two words all night.)

Dinner was fantastic if I do say so myself.  The turkey came out amazing, although I totally smothered it with my homemade cranberry sauce.  I didn't really get any leftovers because my mom packed them for my brother and sister to take back to school with them.  My mom took the bones so she could make some dumplings, and I am so ready for them even though the weather is not cooperating.  (It's 85 degrees here.)

All in all it was a great and much needed break!

Only 3 weeks until winter break!  Let the countdown begin!

Thanksgiving Break

One of the BEST things about being a teacher are the breaks.  We don't get as many as most people think, but it's more than the average worker gets so I guess that's why they think we get so much time off.  A lot of teachers will still work of course because there are always papers to grade, parents to call, lessons to be planned, etc., but it is a time where we can slow down and procrastinate a little and not stress out that we didn't grade those projects before the grading period ends.

I will be spending this entire break with my kids.  I'm pulling them out of daycare for a week and we are going to have FUN!  Since the weather is nice I plan on spending a lot of time at the park and outside.  There is a new park down the street from our house and I want to check it out with my kiddos.  I can't wait to spend some real time with them.

I'm also hosting Thanksgiving for my family for the first time ever.  I'm not nervous like most first timers are because I can cook a damn fine turkey and it's only my parents and brother and sister.  There is no pressure to be fancy at all because my family likes the traditional, plain Jane Thanksgiving dinner.  I'm really looking forward to cooking this year and taking that burden off my mom who has to work on Wednesday.

I'm so looking forward to the start of my break!  I may have to cut out early ;)

Did She Really Just Say That?

So because a few of my friends and family members are having some fertility issues, I have come to read some blogs of women who are also having the same issues.  I'm trying to learn more of what it's like to be on the outside looking in.  I am blessed with two very beautiful children that I adore and love more than anything in the world.  I now understand that I could never imagine not having them, which is why it pains me to see people hurting over not being able to conceive.  I want to be more understanding to the infertile ladies (or gentlemen in one case) in my life.  I want to know what to say, how to say and most importantly, what NOT to say.  (Relax seems to be a BIG no, no when talking to an infertile.)  I tend to have A LOT of open mouth, insert foot moments because I have diarrhea of the mouth and am VERY opinionated.  I want to understand all the ins and outs of really trying to conceive a child and give support where I can, and shut up and really listen for a change.

Anyway, I was reading a blog about a woman who has been trying to conceive for around two years now and something in her post really pissed me off.  She said something like women who get pregnant easily or by accident don't truly appreciate the miracle of conception.  (Not a direct quote, but it was definitely along those lines.)  Someone else also commented that they would appreciate every minute of morning sickness and every ache and pain if when they get pregnant.  (Yeah, we'll hold you to that mkay.)  WTF does that mean anyway?  I almost feel like she was saying that (I) didn't/don't appreciate my children.  Just because I didn't have to chart, or take my temperature every morning or POS or wait for AF to arrive doesn't mean I don't appreciate what a miracle it is to conceive a child.  Obviously I know that the timing has to be perfect.  Hell, we didn't use any type of contraception for over ten years before we had Kaitlyn.  I reveled in my pregnancy and wanted to learn every little stinking thing there was to know about it.  I read "What to Expect" cover to cover.  I subscribed to BabyCenter.com to get those weekly development updates to read how my little bean was progressing.  I scoured the Internet looking for any information about fetal development making sure I didn't eat or drink the wrong thing to cause my baby to be unhealthy.  I watched my belly like a hawk to see any kind of movement I could of my children.  I did enjoy being pregnant, knowing that I was growing a little human inside of me and the wonder of it all.  I don't think that you have to suffer to appreciate things in life.

I'm just really put off by infertiles when they say things like this particular woman did.  I can empathize with them because I know the joy my children bring to me.  I can't even imaging what I would have done if I found out that I couldn't get pregnant.  Not having children was definitely a deal breaker in any of my relationships.  I knew I would never marry a man that didn't want kids.  (Now if only I could change his mind about how many, we would live in a perfect world.)  But just because I have children and it was, fairly, easy for me to get pregnant, does in no way mean that I don't appreciate the miracle of conception, pregnancy and birth. 

I won't tell you to relax and not think about it so please don't tell me I didn't appreciate my pregnancy.

P.S. To the infertile who said she would savor every pain and bouts with morning sickness, watch out when you do get pregnant because Karma she is a bitter bitch.

Happy Birthday!

To me!  Just had to put it out there.

Also, thank you to all the service men and women who sacrifice all that they are and have to protect the wonderful country we live in.  I am proud to live in the USA and enjoy the freedom I have because there are stellar people out there who put their lives on the line everyday.

If you can read this, thank a teacher.  If you can read it in English, thank a vet!

Diez!

This is just a few days late.  I didn't realize that Tyler turned 10 months old over the weekend.

Tyler is 10 months old today!  I am so close to having a toddler in the house again.  This time, I think I got my payback for the torture I put my mother through, although I still don't have it as bad as my mom did.  Tyler is into EVERYTHING.  He is constantly on the go.  I can't even change his diaper without him flipping around trying to crawl towards the next thing he shouldn't be playing with.  Man is this kid strong too. 

He's not really doing anything new this month.  He's still crawling like a maniac all through the house and really prefers this method travel to cruising.  He pulls himself up with ease, but would rather plop down on his butt and crawl than cruise to an object that he wants.  He is tall enough though that we have to be very careful of where we put things.  He will pull things off the dining room table that are less than two inches from the edge of the table.  He knocks over drinking glasses trying to reach them much to the delight of Peanut who is always looking for human food and drink.  He has slimmed down a lot since he's really started to crawl, so I think he will be walking about the same time Kaitlyn did.

He's not too big on the paci anymore, which is not a huge shock because he never was crazy about it in the first place.  He did use it to go to sleep or to nap, but now he doesn't even really use it for that.  He likes to chew on it and then pull it out of his mouth and then use it as a projectile.

He still only has 6 teeth.  Four on the top and two on the bottom.  He knows how to use them too.  I'm afraid he's going to be a biter when he gets to the toddler room at daycare.

He pretty much eats anything I put in front of him.  He'll eat any kind of vegetable or fruit, so I'm trying lots of different things now that I'm making his food.  He's also starting to really take to finger foods and feeding himself.  It's so cute to watch him with his little pincer grasp putting things in his mouth.  Right now he's feeding himself cheese, cheerios, puffs, raisins and those Gerber veggie snacks.  I'll start to add cooked veggies and cut up fruit to the mix soon.

He still babbles the same words, da da, ba ba, and the common baby gibberish that doesn't mean anything.  He knows what things are and understands what I am saying, but he absolutely refuses to communicate.  I'm going to have to intensify my verbal communication with him and really start to do more signing with him, which means I'm going to have to learn more signs. 

His favorite thing to do right now is put smaller objects into larger ones.  He'll spend hours putting blocks in his sorter.  I leave the top off of it so he doesn't get frustrated with trying to fit a circle into a square hole.  I just love the fact that he's learning that smaller objects will fit in big ones.  He's even really good with the nesting cups which is something Kaitlyn wasn't even interested in with until she was much older. 

He's also into this new, really gross thing now as well.  He'll crawl toward Peanut with his mouth open wide and sit down practically on top of him and let Peanut lick the inside of his mouth.  He thinks it's the funniest thing in the world, but it grosses me out and gets Peanut in a lot of trouble.  It makes me ill thinking that Peanut might have just licked his butt then stuck his tongue down my son's throat.  *shivers, gags*

Memory Lane Monday

Memory Lane Monday is a way for me to reminisce about memories from my childhood even if I can't remember what I had for breakfast this morning.

This MLM will be a scattered post dedicated to all the moving I endured in my life.  I was only a military child until I was 4, but we still seemed to hope around from house to house.  This is how I remember not really having roots growing up.

I was born in Seoul, South Korea on November 11, 1977.  We lived there until my grandmother died the following year.  I was around 18 months old when we left for the US.  (I know technically I don't remember this move, but I thought I'd throw it in there since it was my first move.)

We lived in North Vernon, IN.  I still remember the location even though I was very young when we lived there.  I'm guessing my mother chose to live here because her oldest sister lived there.  (She still lives in the same town, in the same house that her husband grew up in.)  We lived in a neighborhood down the street from the high school.  We stayed till I was around 3.

We lived in Fort Knox, KY.  My father was stationed here.  We lived in the military apartment complex so there were lots of children running around and there was a huge playground to play on.  There were also plenty of Korean women on this base, so my mom felt right at home.  My aunt Tina also lived with us for a little while, though I don't remember her living with us.  We stayed till I was about 4.

We lived in St. Cloud, FL.  We lived in an apartment complex.  I don't think that my dad lived with us at this point, but my Korean grandfather did.  I think my mom picked this place to live because she was a single mom and her sister's in laws lived right down the road from us and would watch me all the time while my mom was at work.  I have a lot of great memories with them.  We lived there till I was in 2nd grade.

We lived in Kissimmee, FL.  We lived in a yellowish-beige house that had arches in front.  I would say it was a Spanish style type house.  Not with the tiled roof or anything, just in the outside architectural design.  There were a few kids in the neighborhood to play with and it was really close to school so I walked.  (The elementary school was right across the street.)  I have many memories of this place.  The friends I made, the adventures we had, the family who came and went.  This is the house where I said goodbye to my sperm donor biological father and hello to my step-dad.  We welcomed my baby sister to the family in this house.  I also learned how betrayal felt in this house.  We stayed here till I was in 6th grade.

We lived in Deltona, FL.  This was a hard move for me.  We lived in a rental house, me, my aunt Angie, my dad, my sister and on the weekends, my mother.  My father got a new job with a different company and my mother was still working her old job in Kissimmee, so she would be gone for the week, and come live with us on the weekend.  It was a really hard transition for me, the move and to a new school, let alone middle school.  I skipped a lot of school in this house, which I had NEVER done before.  I also got the chicken pox in this house.  We stayed here for a few months.

We still are in Deltona, FL but are in a house my parents bought.  I was still in 6th grade.  I like this house a lot.  My mother was finally with us for good.  We added another aunt to the household and also welcomed my brother to the family in this house.  I have many memories, good and bad in this house.  I entered high school and went through many growing pains in this house.  I knew what it felt to be violated in this house when some teenagers decided to break in our house while we were asleep and steel a few pieces of jewelery and my mother's purse.  (Later, they came back for the car that sat outside our garage.)  I lost one best-friend(s) and gained another.  We stayed here until I was half way through my junior year in high school.

We lived in North Vernon, IN.  Oh how I hated this house.  I despised living here, in this house and all it represented.  I hated the high school I went to.  I hated that I had to spend my senior year with strangers and not fully appreciate the culmination of all my hard work in school.  I experienced racism directed at me for the very first time in this house.  I counted down the days until I would be out of this house.

That was the last move I made with my family.  I lived in Muncie, IN where I attended Ball State University.  I would occasionally go back to that house and live with my parents during the summer, but that house was not my home anymore.  My family moved back to Florida my junior year of college so they could be closer to my dying grandmother.  After college I lived with Jerry and we began a new chapter of not having roots and moving from place to place.  But that journey will be saved for another day.

Halloween 2010

Kaitlyn had a blast this past Halloween.  She liked trick or treating of course because people kept giving her extra candy for being cute, but she liked passing out candy at more even more.  The big kids were so patient with her when she took forever to make sure she was dropping the candy directly into their bags.

Tyler really wasn't phased by anything at all.  He was having tons of fun ripping the head off of his costume.  He would let me leave it on for a millisecond, then he would, fast as lighting, rip that sucker off and throw it to the ground.  I got plenty of cute pictures though.

Seconds before he ripped the head off.

Posing with her pumpkin

Complacent with his costume for now

Ready to go!

Get me out of this thing!

Memory Lane Monday

Memory Lane Monday is a way for me to reminisce about memories from my childhood even if I can't remember what I had for breakfast this morning.

I think this trip down memory lane is going to be bits and pieces of my memories of my Korean grandfather who lived with us off and on over the years that he was in America.

I don't remember exactly when my grandfather came to live with us; he just did.  I do know that we lived in St. Cloud and we lived in the apartments that were behind the high school.  (My mom chose this area because her sister's in-laws lived close by and they would babysit me from time to time.)  We lived in a two bedroom apartment on the ground floor which is always a good thing because I was not good with stairs.

I remember that my grandfather would wake me up every morning to go to school...even on Saturday.  He would say "Critty, school".  (It took everyone, including my mother, a long time to pronounce my name correctly.)  I had to call my mom when she worked on Saturdays to help explain to him that it was the weekend and there was no school.

I remember that my grandfather ate a lot of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches A: because that's the only thing he knew how to ask for in English and B: that's the only thing I knew how to make...I was only in elementary school for crying out loud! 

I remember that when we moved to Kissimmee, we lived in a three bedroom house.  It was me, my mom, my grandfather and my mom's only brother.  (Eventually two of my mom's sisters came to live with us, but that is for another day.)  Somehow my dad came to live with us sporadically in this house and there was a lot of fighting between him, my grandfather and my uncle.  My mom was ever in the middle trying to diffuse the volatile situation.

I remember that my grandfather loved old black and white television shows and movies even though he didn't understand anything that was going on.  I'm sure he made up his own stories to go along with the pictures he was seeing on the screen.

I remember that before my aunts came to live with us, my uncle decided to move to California and he took my grandfather with him.  I was probably 6 or 7 at the time.

I remember that it was many years before he came to live with us again.  I was in college so there was plenty of room in that big house of ours.  He fished a lot, someone would drop him off at the lake in the morning and return late in the afternoon to pick him up.  He never really caught anything, but he loved it.  I remember we had to find night crawlers for him to use as bait.  He was too slow to catch them himself, those suckers are FAST, so all the girls had to do it for him.  On days he didn't go fishing, he would stay downstairs to watch TV.  As soon as my dad would come home, he would run upstairs only to come down for dinner.  My mom always questioned him about this, but he never gave her an explanation.  He terrorized my brother with a cicada.  He fought a lot with my oldest aunt who had a lot of anger towards him because of the life she was forced to live in Korea.  My mom is forever grateful for the time she got to spend with him because she learned a lot about his life before he was a father.  (Like the when he fled to Japan during a time of conflict and lived with a lady and pretended to be Japanese.)

I remember feeling sorry for my youngest aunt who tried to have a relationship with him, but because she didn't speak Korean anymore couldn't even communicate with him.  (She is only three years older than me and lost her language because she wasn't allowed to speak Korean in the house.  My uncle, who she was living with, didn't want her to fall behind in school.)

I remember that he was very unhappy living with us in Indiana because he didn't have any friends there.  Not much of a Korea population in the rinky dink town we lived in.  I guess fishing, old black and white movies and the occasional Korea movie from the Korean store in Indianapolis can only keep a person occupied for so long.  He went back to California to live with my uncle.  He met a woman there who took what little money he had left, but at least he was happy with her.

I remember he died a few years after he returned to California.  I don't remember how old he was, but I think he was in his 90's.  It is one of the few times that all the siblings were in the same place at the same time.  They buried him somewhere in LA.

I remember all the time I got to spend with him and all his little quirks. 

Mostly I remember that I miss having him around. 

Thankful Thursday

The Move

The move went great!  I'm pretty impressed because we closed on Thursday and had to be out of our rental by that night.  We were supposed to close on Tuesday which would have allowed Jerry to move boxes and non essentials to our house all day Wednesday giving us a little bit of a jump.  I took Thursday off, dropped Jerry off to get the moving truck and took the kids to daycare.  By the time I got back to the rental, Jerry had the upper part of the moving truck full and the washer and dryer on.  It took us most of the morning to get the rest of the furniture on and we basically threw whatever else we could is the nooks and cranny's.  We were mostly done by the time we had to do the walk through, we just left the dining table and chairs off the truck so we had somewhere to sign the closing docs.  It took us an hour to sign all the closing docs which left us at 3 PM to get the truck unloaded into the house.  (I was picking up the kids at 5:15 leaving Jerry to do the majority of the work while I took care of them.)  We did well and got most everything off the truck when I had to leave to get the kids.  My mom and dad came over just in time to get the couch off the truck.  My mom helped watch the kids and unpack a few boxes while my dad and Jerry went to get the rest of the living room furniture and some miscellaneous items from the rental.  They were still able to fill the truck up a second time.  Mean while I had to go pick up Jerry's mom from the airport and by the time I got back I had to put the kids to bed.  While I was doing that, Jerry and his mom went to the rental to get the rest of our belongings and do some spot cleaning.  It took about 5 more trips in Jerry's car to get everything left at the rental to the house and we were done with everything at around 2 AM.  I still had to work the next day and get the kids to daycare so that Jerry could get the truck back to avoid the second day charge. 

We are mostly settled in and only have a few boxes to unpack.  Once we get the washer and dryer hooked up, we will be set as there are piles of laundry laying everywhere in our room right now.  (I had to do some essential laundry for us and the kids laundry at my parents house so we wouldn't have to run around naked for a few days.)  The house is coming together and now we can start to focus on making it a home. 

Memory Lane Monday

Memory Lane Monday is a way for me to reminisce about memories from my childhood even if I can't remember what I had for breakfast this morning.

I think I'll start of my first MLM with the story of how I scarred my brother for life.  My brother is 13 years younger than me; no he's not an oops baby.  (Although my mother has everyone convinced that she waited so long to have more children because I was the demon spawn of Satan.)  Anyway, when he was around 3 or 4, my mom use to dress him in overalls a lot.  He did look darn cute in those overalls and of course they had this nifty pocket in the front where some years previously my sister had her first (and only) shop lifting experience at the ripe old age of 2 and hid a candy bar she picked up while we were checking out at the register of the local grocery store.  Anyway, being 13 years older than my brother was super fun for me.  I dressed him up, I got him to stay mean things, I painted his nails, basically he was my living toy.

Back to the overalls and the torture.  We had this fake, plastic fly that was the size of a silver dollar that we probably got out of a gum ball machine.  I was playing with it one day and noticed that Sean was afraid of this fly.  Unfortunately for him, I thought him screaming like a manic was hilarious.  So, I began to torture him with it just so I could get him to scream.  Well, he kept running away from me when I showed him the fly and I got the brilliant idea to put the fly in the chest pocket of his overalls so even if he did run, he would still scream.  Genius!  It worked.  No matter how fast he ran, he couldn't get away from this fly.  Of course I laughed hysterically, would take the fly out of his pocket, let him calm down and put the fly right back into his pocket for another round of side splitting laughter.  Little did I know the life long damage I had inflicted on my poor brother.

My Korean grandfather, who spoke VERY little English came to live with us for a short period of time while we were in Indiana.  (He could say some semblance of our names, he could ask to go fishing "feeshing", he could ask for a pb & j "peanut butter jelly" and he could tell us to go to school "go schoo.")  My mother is constantly telling us stories of how poor they were, not to guilt us or anything but she actually thinks these stories are hilarious, and how they use to have to make their toys.  I guess a really fun thing for poor Korean children is to play with bugs.  Like they used to catch dragon flies by their wings and then tie string around their tails and fly them like kites or balloons.  They also liked to catch cicadas and pull their wings off and then let them walk around all hobbily wobbily.  I guess my grandfather remembered his kids doing this and caught a cicada and brought it in to the house for my brother to play with.  Of course he didn't know about the torture he had endured at my hands and tried to give it to my brother.  Needless to say my brother freaked the fark out!  My mom came home from work and my grandfather told her that Sean was hiding in the closet.  My mom found him in the closet and the poor thing was hiding under a Korean mink blanket, sweating, shaking like a leaf babbling "Papa, buga buga."  (He called flies buga bugas.)  My mom was totally freaked out.  She asked her dad what happened and he told her the story.  My mom lost it.  She couldn't even tell the story without laughing hysterically.  She still can't really tell the story without a lot of hitting (my mom is a hitter when she laughs, no lie) and laughing. 

To this very day, if my brother is caught off guard by a fly, he will jump.  He kills flies like they are some kind of mutated, poison/plague carrying alien.  Flies do not get to stay alive around my brother.  He will hunt them down until they are destroyed.  I feel sorry for any fly that crosses my brother's path because they do not have a chance.

I still laugh when this story gets told or when some wayward fly scares my brother but sometimes I do feel a little guilty that I'm the one who did that to him.  (Don't tell him I said that though.)

9 is Fine!

(One day late because we spent all day yesterday moving and had no internet.)

Good lord!  My baby is 9 months old.  (Little Miss Lucy will be 2 months!)  So surreal how time flies so fast.  Tyler's 9 month appointment will be next week, so I don't have any of his stats for this post.  I don't even know if his 9 month update will be posted tomorrow since we will be in the middle of a move, but I wanted to have it ready in case I can hit the publish post button sometime tomorrow.

He crawls on his hands and knees now.  It was the army style crawl for the longest time and I thought he never would get up on those knees and he would go straight to walking.  He's still very slow and will only do it for a few minutes.  If he sees something across the room that he really has to have in his mouth, like yesterday, then he will fore go the hands and knees and army it up.  He's so quick dragging his fat little body across the floor. 

He's pulling up on everything now and he's starting to cruise.  The other morning when I went in at 5 am to give his his paci and get him to go back to sleep, he was standing in his crib, eyes shut, but standing there whimpering.  It was the saddest little thing.  He's really good at letting himself back down once he has pulled himself up too.  I was surprised at this because it took awhile for Kaitlyn mastering the sitting down from a standing position.  He's a pro though and will let himself down slowly without bonking the nog nog.

I started to make homemade baby food for him and he absolutely adores it.  He tried avocados at daycare the other day and they said he made the worst face at first, but then he ate them all gone a little bit later.  (I forgot that they were a new food when I packed them I was just so excited to get him to try them.)  I don't think that I'll be making much more purees as he can handle finger foods and he can have things like egg yolks, cheese and beans.  I might just have to mash things up really well for him because they just let him get too messy feeding himself at daycare and I can't constantly buy him new clothes because of all the stains.  (I strip him down if I'm going to let him make a mess.)  Maybe when he can have deli meats I'll start sending little baby bentos to daycare for him to eat.

He's got 5 teeth right now with one more about to break through.  He's having such a hard time with teething.  He's SUPER drooly these days and he soaks through bibs and shirts.  He usually runs a fever for a few days when he's getting them so he is pretty miserable.  I give him crushed up ice cubes that keeps him happy for quite a long time.  He will only nom on a teether for like 2 minutes then he's off.  I might have to get one of those Mam ones that clip to the paci clip so at least it's attached to him.  I just don't like it dragging on the floor when he crawls.

He still only babbles da da and ba ba.  He will every once in awhile say ma, but it's really rare, usually only when he's upset.  I remember it was such a big deal when Kaitlyn stopped saying ma ma and babbled da da all the time.  I got really upset.  With Tyler it's a lot different.  Sure I still try to get him to say it, but I know that just because he doesn't he doesn't love me.  I know he loves me because he shows it by always wanting to be with me or the fact that I'm the only one who can get him to lay still or go back to sleep in the wee hours of the night.

He's gained an interest in the dog that's never really been there eve though Peanut is always hanging around him.  Tyler will watch Peanut intently when he comes into the room and when Peanut lays next to him, he will pat him.  He doesn't pull on him...yet.  He just kinda pats his back and poke him in the face and just watch him.  He really gets interested when I interact with Peanut and he will stare at us watching our every move.  I know he's learning a lot and I want to make sure that I am modeling how to handle a dog properly so he doesn't terrorize him like Kaitlyn does.  I'm sure that when he gets a little older he will start pulling on his tail and chase him around and body slam him to the ground.  He does watch Kaitlyn very carefully so he's going to pick up on how she interacts with Peanut and mimic her.  I can say I tried though.

He still has a very happy disposition and I still get comments from his daycare teachers that he is always smiling and happy and he's such a good baby.  I don't know how I got so lucky with two great babies.  I could have sworn my mom cursed me to have the demon spawn of Satan because I gave her such hell as a baby.  Maybe my payback will come in the form of the teenage years.  Someone shoot me now.



Help

How do you help someone who doesn't want it? 

How do you help someone realize that their situation is more dire than they care to admit?

How do you help pull someone from the abyss when they don't grab onto your hand?

How do you help to keep someone from drowning when they refuse to grab on to the raft you throw them?

How do you help someone stay alive when all they seek is death?

Miss Independent

Kaitlyn is starting to be a lot more independent these days.  She INSISTS on doing things on her own with no help at all, until she is ready to ask for it.  If you help her without her permission, she will throw drop to the floor and throw a fit. 

I'm am having a hard time letting her do things on her own.  It's not that I don't want her to be independent, by all means please go potty by yourself, but I just forget that she is a big girl now and she is capable of doing these things on her own.  I'm just used to doing things for her.  It also doesn't help when I need to get things done fast and she's busy being all independent and taking her sweat time.  It is helpful to send her to the bathroom to wash her hands while I'm tied up with the demands of Tyler.  (I also need to remember that she is two and she LOVES to play in the water.)

Daddy says that she is super independent in the mornings.  She opens her door, crosses the entire house, opens the bathroom door and enters the room and shouts "good morning daddy!"  (Her door is a pocket sliding door and our room is the farthest room away from hers so needless to say, I'm pretty impressed with her.)  He tells her to go potty in our bathroom and he gets up to get ready.  She brushes her teeth while he shaves.  He then tells her to go pick out an outfit to wear; I already have outfits for the week ready for her in the top drawer of her changing table and she just picks a particular outfit she feels like wearing.  She undresses herself and he helps her get dressed as much as SHE lets him.  He gives her the squirt bottle so she can wet her hair and then he puts it in a ponytail.  (He does a pretty good job if I may say so.)  She then goes and picks what she wants for breakfast and she sits at her little table in the living room and watches a little Mickey Mouse Club House before it's time to leave.  She helps drop off Tyler in his room first, then will walk to her class, give daddy a hug and a kiss, tell him to have a good day at work, then settle in the days activity.  (She usually gets dropped off at morning snack and will look at what the other kids are eating to see if she wants some or not.)

She really is growing into her own little person and it really makes me proud.  It also makes my life a hell of a lot easier because I don't have to constantly ask her if she needs anything.  She tells me when she needs to potty, or wash her hands, or is hungry or thirsty.  She tells me what she wants to play and where she wants to play.  I do occasionally have to remind her to do things, like take a big drink of water when she is playing in the hot sun, but for the most part she is my little independent girl. 

Memory

It used to be said that if you want information about things that happened in the past, you ask me.  My brother hates that I have such an awesome memory.  It usually gets him in trouble or causes moments of embarrassment in front of his friends.  I think he is also jealous because he honestly cannot remember things that happen earlier in the same day.  I am usually the final judge in an argument about things that happen in the past.  Well if Christy says so, then it is so. 

I remember lots of silly details of things that happened to me and the people in my life.  Like I totally remember the time that my aunt and I were crab fishing at a hotel dock with a piece of string and some bait that some guy gave us because we were just using string at first.  We did catch a crab after a few hundred attempts and we were totally going to bring it home as a pet but my dad put the kibosh on that and made us return him to the bay...joy kill.  I also remember the time my grandfather, who spoke VERY little English, caught a cicada for my brother to play with and totally traumatized the poor kid because he thought it was a giant fly* and my mom found him hiding and shaking in the closet when she came home from work.  (*My brother is still kinda jumpy when it comes to house flys because I used to torture him with a fake fly because I thought it was funny...at the time.)  There are tons more stories that I remember, but that is another post in and of itself.  (Maybe I'll start doing meme Monday's or something.)

Nowadays though, I can't remember anything.  I attribute this to being pregnant twice and birthing two babies who literally suck the life force out of me and leave me a stuttering, gibbering mess at the end of the day.  I have to leave myself notes and reminders about everything.  If I don't have it written down, it will be forgotten.  I have reminders constantly going off in Microsoft Outlook telling me when to go to meetings, when to run reports and even when to go to the potty.  (Ok, so I'm not that bad, and my bladder tells me when to do that.)  I am constantly checking and rechecking my calendar because I always feel like I'm missing a meeting or forgetting to do something.  It's driving me insane and it's causing me to be wrong a lot with Jerry which of course is the worse than missing some stupid doctors appointment that I scheduled months ago and never got a reminder call the day before to confirm that I'm still going to show up.  Sheesh.

I need to find a more better and more efficient way to remind myself of what's going on in my life.  If I'm not at work, I don't get those Outlook reminders.  I'm too lazy to text everything in my phone and these days I'm lucky to remember to bring my phone with me.  I can't run around with sticky notes attached to my body and besides, they don't stick very well to skin.  Carrying a planner is not an option because I have enough to carry and my diaper bag is busting at the seems.  Sigh.  If only I was rich enough to hire an assistant to help me keep my life in order.  One can dream though.

(This post was originally slated to be posted in June if that says anything about the current state of my memory.)

Buyer's Market?

So I am a little bitter about this whole buying a house business.  I mean everyone in the universe is saying that we are in a buyers market and now is the time to jump on the bandwagon and buy a house.  I have been resigned to the fact that we will rent until our children go to college for just a few more years because that's what is in the plan.  (Yeah, we always follow the plan.  Kaitlyn and Tyler were both planned.)  I was super excited when Jerry was conned decided that it was indeed a buyers market and that we could get into a house while having a lower mortgage than our monthly rent.  Score! 

This whole house buying debacle adventure has been a less than thrilling one to say the least.  We were looking at those foreclosures at first because we could really save some money and get a house for around $100,000.  People, those houses are in foreclosure for a reason.  The very first house we looked at was in foreclosure and had been abandoned.  I should have run away screaming when we pulled up to it and the grass was up to my eyes.  However I kept an open mind and my babies glued to my side.  We stepped into the house and it was a real gem POS!  There was still broken furniture left in the house from the previous owners.  There was mold growing on the ceiling of the nursery.  (There was a crib in there so I'm going to assume that it was the nursery.)  The ceiling was falling down on the lanai.  The pool was an electric green and I am still convinced there was a big sci-fi creature swimming in it.  (There was definitely water movement and I don't think it was the creepy crawly.)  I was pretty bummed out at the sad state of the house.  We quickly asked our realtor if all the foreclosed houses looked like this and he reassured us that they didn't and this was probably one of the worst he's seen.  We trusted him because he came highly recommended to us by my parents so we trekked on.  We looked at 10 houses that first night and NONE of them were even fit to live in.  They all needed work in some way and we really couldn't afford the time or money to get them to move in ready shape.  I was discouraged to say the least.

Fast forward to a week.  We finally found a house that was move in ready.  It was in an ok neighborhood, not my ideal location, but there were no cars on cinder blocks in the front yard.  (This was a prerequisite for a neighborhood that Jerry was comfortable living in.)  We actually fell in love with the house and the potential it had.  There were some things that would need to be updated, the VERY pink carpet throughout the house, but it had everything that we were looking for.  We put in an offer and found out that we were 1 of 4.  The good news was that the bank was not looking for investors to buy this house so we weren't competing with someone who had a large amount of available cash.  The bad news was that we had no idea what to bid on this house in order to get it.  Long story short, the bank did not ask for best offers and took the highest initial bid which was not ours.  (We bid $10,000 over asking price and were willing to go $15,000 to get the house.)  Disappointed, because I really started to fall in love with the house and the potential it had with just a few updates.

After another few hundred houses we find another one well below our price range, in the exact neighborhood we want, with a great floor plan and plenty of space.  We moved very quickly on this house.  Score!  No bids at all on this house.  We played the game again and offered $10,000 above asking price willing to go $15,000.  Good news, we were the very first bid, bad news, it's game on for everyone including investors.  We lost this house by $1,000 because there was a cash offer on the house.  Suck it!

So buy now we are mostly defeated and decide that we will not compromise.  The house must be in the perfect neighborhood.  It must be at least 1600 sf.  It must have a two car garage.  It must have a fenced in back yard.  It must have a separate area for the playroom.  People, things happen for a reason because we found a house with all that and more.  It's a 3/2/2 with over 1800 sf of living space.  We have an extra large living area with a semi-open floor plan.  There are two fireplaces, although I'm not sure why there is even one since we live in Florida.  And the coup de gras....a pool!  We initially did not want a pool because I am paranoid concerned about my little ones, but we are stoked and are prepared to pay out the nose for some high tech pool fence and alarms.  It is also 5 houses down the street from my parents.  Don't know quite yet if that is good or bad, but it's exactly where I want to live because of the schools that are near by.  All three schools, elementary, middle and high school that I want my children to attend are within walking distance. 

We low balled an initial offer.  (The sellers' agent was desperate and constantly hounding our agent to make an offer.)  There were a few counters on both sides and we finally agreed to a price...we got the house for a steal!  Everything is going great, we close on the 24th of September, tell our landlords to bite us that we are giving them 60 days notice, even though we don't have to give them any notice, and they can keep our deposit to use as the last month's rent and we'll be on our way.  Inspection goes well, except the roof needs some repairs, our realtor says the sellers' need to pay for it, they agree and we are happily moving onward and upward.

The bad news, the underwriting company for the mortgage is at  a complete standstill and there is no way we can get this done by the 24th.  WTF!  Of course our mortgage guy, who also is our realtor, is a pro and is on it.  He finds a new underwriting company that can keep us close to being on track.  We are now a week behind which throws a minor wrench into our plans because we have engineered our work schedule around our move.  There are meetings and trips and a MIL visit that have been pre-scheduled and now cannot be canceled.  I guess Jerry's mom will have to help us move while she is on vacation.  We'll also have to rent a POD instead of a UHaul and may have to spend a week living with my parents.  Ugh. 

Good news, this house meets our present AND future needs so we won't be moving for a very long time.

Cry Me a River

I will never understand why parents are so against letting their children cry.  Have you ever read a story in the news where a child died because they cried too much?  I know I never have.  I have also let both my children *gasp* cry!  They are both healthy and well adjusted children.  Dare I say they are even very happy!  I know I've mentioned before that Tyler is the happiest baby in the whole world.

Sometimes children need to cry.  Hell, sometimes adults need to cry too!  If I have tried everything in my power to meet my children's needs and they are still crying, I let them.  I let them be alone in their rooms and let them cry.  I check on them to make sure they are safe, but I let them cry.  After 5 or ten minutes, I will go in and comfort them and talk to them about how they are feeling.  Of course this works better with Kaitlyn because she can talk back and tell me how she is feeling.

The only time I feel it's not ok to cry is when someone takes a toy or other wanted item away from Kaitlyn.  I always tell her to use her words and ask for whatever it is back.  I want her to be able to communicate that taking things away from her is not ok, but no one will ever know that if she just screams or cries.  She is really good right now at asking for her things back.  It usually comes out as "That's not nice!  Give me back my  insert object here."  We are working on the manners part, but at least she's using her words.

I feel like telling a child that it's not ok to cry is like stifling their emotions.  I know a person who hates to cry and even hates to show any emotion.  She just bottles everything up and puts on a happy face for the rest of the world.  Unfortunately, she had a sort of a mental break recently.  I will not go into the details of what happened because it is not my story to tell.  However I will say that crying was not allowed by her father.  Crying was looked down upon and stifled, even made fun of.  Not a healthy environment if you ask me.

I am definitely not saying that you should allow your child to cry uncontrollably all day and all night.  That would probably drive everyone bat shit crazy, but letting them cry it out every once in awhile never hurt anyone.  The most important thing is to talk to your child, no matter how old, about how they are feeling and the reasons behind why they are crying.  (If your child is really young, you could always teach them sign language so they can communicate with you.)  Let the tears flow.  It's such a release and everyone needs a good cry now and then, especially children.

Holy Turnaround Batman!

Can I just say that this year, so far, has been really positive?  Not so much on the teacher part, but on the students' part.  (The teachers are complaining too much about the new grade book system, meetings, turning in lesson plans, etc. and it's making me nuts.)  I really thought that the students were going to be super rebellious this year with all the new policies and procedures, but you know what? they are responding quite well.  We are also getting more parental involvement.  Mainly because students are wanting their phones back because they think they are dying, but hey, it's a start.

The number of detentions, students assigned to ABS, cell phone collections are high, but that is really to be expected.  They are testing their boundaries to see what they can get away with and it's really not much.  Teachers are enforcing the policies and administration is backing them up.  Parents are also backing us up because they knew from day one that these new policies were going to be enforced with a heavy hand.  When you don't have too many behavior issues, then the focus can be shifted to learning.

I don't see very many electronic devices.  Sure you see the occasional student trying to sneak a peak at those missed texts, but for the most part they are off and put away.  It's so refreshing to not see a student glued to their cell phone.  It's also nice to not hear a student blast their music while they are walking down the hallway.  I get bombarded enough with the yelling and adding thumping rap "music" to the mix makes me want to climb the walls.  Parents are also asking the office to hold on to cell phones for a few days so the message really sinks in with their children.  Parental support finally!

Kids are running to class.  They don't want to be late anymore which is a huge change from last year.  The tardy sweeps are working because students' don't have any place to hide anymore.  I guess they could hide in the bathroom, but if you've ever seen a high school bathroom, you would choose that as a last resort.  Just walking by them makes me gag.  Kids don't want an afternoon detention because it means they have to miss the bus or sit around and wait to go home.  (School gets out at 1:30, buses leave at 1:50 and detention doesn't start till 2:00 and ends at 3:00.)  If they miss detention, it's an automatic ABS.

Hopefully these changes will stay with us throughout the year and the number of discipline issues will go down and real teaching and learning can happen. 

Tie Your Tubes

I will NEVER understand why some people who have children constantly complain about being a mom and how hard it is.  I especially hate it when women who choose to stay at home complain about being a mom.  Can we say WTF?  This burns me to no end.  If you hate staying at home with your child, then get a freaking job!  Put them in daycare.  They would be much better off since you hate spending so much time with them in the first place.  If you are counting down the minutes to nap time/bed time, then you either need to A) put your kids up for adoption, B) run to the nearest doctor and have them write a prescription for you so you can just go through the motions without feeling anything or C) get yourself a job and put your kids in daycare.  If you hate parenting so much then I suggest you go with option A or B.

I hate when people constantly complain about being a parent.  I'm not talking about the occasional rant about how you have to fight with your kids to eat their veggies, or thanking God that it's bedtime because it has been a rough day.  I'm talking about people who throw parties when their child is sleeping or go to stay the night at grandma's house on a daily basis.  I understand that parenting is hard.  I have those days too.  There is no instruction manual on how to prevent a tantrum because you didn't put in the right hair bow, or you didn't let little girl flush the toilet and say bye bye to the pee pee.  But people, what the hell did you expect?  It's not always ponies and ice cream.  Didn't your mother wish upon you all the terror that you brought to her?  I know my mom did.  She still tells stories about how I ran rampant through her house and destroyed things Tasmanian devil style.  She still insists that's the reason she waited 11 years before she had another baby because she needed that much time to recover from the damage done by hurricane Christy.  She almost made me think that I was going to birth the spawn of Satan because you know, that's how karma works.  (BTW, I ended up with two children that everyone is jealous of.)  My mom is still waiting for my children to start with the head spinning and pea soup projectile vomiting. 

So in order to save myself from the tireless ranting of "How I Hate My Children" I'm going to do some unfriending on Facebook and some unfollowing of a certain mommy blogger.

8 is Great!

Oh bud bud!  You are 8 months old now.  I thought time went by quickly when we only had Kaitlyn, now I feel like time is stepping it up a notch.  I really want it to slow down a little bit because before I know it you will be off to college leaving me to clean your messy room while sobbing uncontrollably.  Not that I know anyone who did that, ahem Sean.

You are a man on a mission.  You are army crawling all over the place like nobodies business.  You can now pull yourself on the step from the playroom and crawl up into the living room.  You can also pull yourself up on the step to the kitchen and crawl in there too.  (You caught me off guard the other day when you did that BTW.) 

You hate being still, therefore the jumperoo is the devil and you do the splits when I try to put you in it.  You will only sit in your high chair if you are eating or drinking.  You want to be on the move 24/7 which means a lot of flopping, flipping and turning in your crib. 

You can now put yourself in a sitting position.  Sometimes you needs help and use a toy to help push yourself up, but you get it on your own most of the time. 

You are waving hi and bye now which is SUPER cute.  I love it.  You also mimic our pitch of saying hello and it sounds like you are also saying hello when you wave.  You are amazed that your hands can perform this function and so you wave often. 

You can also clap.  You say ayayay when you clap.  Super cute as well.  I love to clap and see you mimic me so we do this a lot too.

You scream and stick out your tongue when I pick you up from daycare you are so excited to see me.  You crawl so fast and knock down all the other babies and crawl over them to get to me.  As soon as I pick you up you wave bye bye to everyone in the room and then plant a wet, sloppy kiss on me.  (It's really more like you bite my chin but I will call it a kiss.)  This truly makes my day and all stress leaves me when I see how excited you get when I walk in the room. 

You are an eating machine!  You feed yourself cheerios and puffs.  I put them on your high chair tray and then you slap your little hand on top of one and then put it in your mouth.  Sometimes when you are patient, you will use your little pincer grasp to pick them up.  You also love teething biscuits, Earth's Best is your favorite brand.  You can hold your own bottle which is convenient when I need to do the dishes and you are screaming at me telling me you want milk.  You can also drink from a sippy cup and love to chug down some water. 

You are not signing yet, but you understand when I sign to you.  When I sign eat or milk, you get really excited and kick your feet.  I'm sure you'll start signing soon and boy will that open up a whole new world.

You are learning so much and I am still amazed at how much you are like a sponge soaking up knowledge.  You are my sunshine.  You make me happy.  I love you with all my heart.

You Put Your Children Where?

Yes, I work.  And yes, I put my children in daycare.  It is not the evil place a lot of people think it is.  It's not like I leave my children with trolls who plop them in front of a tv all day long and feed them hot dogs and french fries.  My children don't come home with mysterious bruises and scratches or knowing dirty words.  (Those they learn from me...oops!) 

I worked in a daycare when we lived in Colorado for a little over a year in the 13-24 month toddler room so I had some experience of what to look for and what questions to ask in my research.  And boy I did a lot of research in daycares when I was pregnant with Kaitlyn.  I knew staying home wasn't an option so I wanted to leave her with someone I trusted.  I mean, I was leaving them with the most precious and special being on the planet.  I was not going to leave her with just any old daycare.  Someone gave me the website for Childcare Coordinating Council (CCC) and I used this as my only online tool.  The center that are affiliated with this group have to meet VERY strict standards to be recommended by CCC.  There was a very nifty search tool that allowed you to enter in your zip code, age requirements and number of children you were enrolling and it popped out a list of daycares that met your criteria.  There are not very many centers that take children under 1 year, so options were limited.  I checked out the local Kinder Care because it's a pretty well known name even though CCC did not have them in their system.  Not too thrilled with their prices and the location wasn't great.  I also checked out the center that is located on Jerry's company campus, but they didn't take infant.  Plus that place is dark, the rooms are small and they don't provide food.  (There were some other centers that  I checked, but most didn't meet all my criteria on my checklist.) 

The last place that I checked was in a great location, was in a brand new building and was very bright.  you have to have a swipe card to get in meaning no random strangers walking in off the street.  I fell in love right away when I saw that each classroom was had security cameras installed in them with a huge flat screen tv in front cycling through each classroom.  This meant that classrooms were being watched constantly and incidents could be replayed if ever needed.  (You always act better knowing that people are watching you.)  There are two separate play outdoor play areas and the kids get to play outside twice a day.  Food is provided once your child turns 1.  Breakfast/AM snack, Lunch, PM snack, and a late PM snack if needed.  Most days, they serve my child better food than I would at home because they have to meet very strict nutrition guidelines in order to receive funding.  I cannot even begin to tell you how much fun Kaitlyn has at daycare.  She is only 2 and can run you down through her day including telling you what everyone brought in for show and tell.  (She can also tell me who pushed who, who used mean words, and what the teacher did about it.)  My children do art, yes my infant has art for me to bring home, they sing, dance, participate in pretend play, and most importantly learn how to socialize and cooperate with other children their age.

This daycare is not raising my child.  I am the one who is instilling morals and values into my children; they just reinforce them.  Yes, they probably spend more time with my children during the week, but they also give me the opportunity to interact with my children in ways that I can't when I stay at home with them.  I LOVE Tyler's reaction when I walk into his classroom and he notices mommy.  I LOVE hearing Kaitlyn scream "mommy!" as she races to greet me across the playroom.  I know that they take great care of my children because they don't cry or have a fit when they are dropped off.  Kaitlyn talks about everything that happened during the day and I love to hear her stories.  She's learning so much more about cooperation and being a good friend than I could teach her at home alone.  Tyler is flourishing and is still the happiest baby in the world.

So for all you people who think I'm dropping my kids off at hell with Satan...BITE ME!

Thankful Thursday

I am thankful for so many thing in my life, but right now I feel super blessed for:

*my summer spent with my children.

*me returning to work and my children returning to daycare.

*my coffee maker and Dunkin Donuts coffee from Costco.

*getting the house we BELONG in after two failed attempts at wrong houses.

*my wonderful parents for the help they are going to give us for said house.

*the start of a positive new school year with a wonderful new principal.

Working Moms

So I wrote a post on stay at home mommies, and I was kinda harsh.  I stand behind everything that I wrote 100%.  I feel like I need to address the working moms now.  I am one myself so I know what it is like to work and take care of your family.

Ok, so all you working mothers out there? Stop acting like you are some kind of super woman.  You are not better than stay at home mommies (SAHM).  Just because you go to work and then come home and take care of you family doesn't make you some sort of goddess so quit acting like people should bow down and worship you.  SAHM work just as hard as working mommies.

I also cannot stand working moms who degrade and demean SAHM.  I've read some really mean comments on blogs and really cannot believe the things that these women say.  I've read that working moms are dumb and uneducated and will be left by their husbands for younger women.  All I can say is wow.  I would never look down on a woman who chose to stay at home with their kids.  If that's what you want to do, then good for you.

I work because right now it is necessary financially.  We accrued a lot of debt while we were young, and now we are paying for it, literally.  I do get the benefit of staying at home with my children during the summers, and for that I am grateful.  I do have to admit that this summer has been exhausting and I am ready to go back to work.  Next summer Kaitlyn will be 3, Tyler 1 and I will watch a 6 year old for a coworker of Jerry's as well. 

So SAHM and working moms, neither group is better than the other.  One set of children don't do better than the other because their moms work or not, it's all about how you parent your child.  Can't we all just get along and stop criticizing each other and celebrate that we have the most important thing in common: being a mom.

A New Sheriff in Town

So, we have a new principal at school after ours decided he was going to retire suddenly this summer.  Can I say, so far, so good?  I absolutely LOVE him!  He is full of energy and positive vibes.  He really wants to change this school for the better and it really seems like most of the faculty is behind him.  There are going to be some great changes with attendance, tardies, electronic devices and discipline this year.  He came from the only F school in our district last year so I know that he is very aware of the challenges that are found in most high schools.  I think the students will be shocked and first and will complain, but eventually they will get used to it. 

Here is a breakdown of new policies and procedures (with a few bugs/details to work out.):

Alternative Bell Schedule (ABS).  If a student is having discipline issues, depending on the infraction, they could be suspended.  Most students who are suspended don't want to be in school in the first place, duh!  I have even heard students refuse detention, Saturday school and work detail and take a suspension because they want a vacation!  Now in lieu of getting suspended they will have to attend ABS and come to school at 1:00 pm and stay till 6:00 pm.  This way, they still have to come to school, they just won't be a disruption to the normal school day.  (They will not be able to come back to school until they full fill their ABS consequence and complete behavior modification.)

No electronic devices are to be in use, visible etc.  If a student has their electronic device out, it will be confiscated, labeled and locked away until a parent can come pick it up.  If they refuse to hand over their electronic device, then they receive three days of ABS.  It will be a shock to them, but I think it will eventually become a way of life.  Hopefully teachers will be good role models and also follow this rule.

A lock out policy will be in effect to keep tardies under control.  When the tardy bell rings, teachers will lock their doors and personnel will sweep the halls to make sure everyone goes to the cafeteria to get marked tardy.  Students will be let back in class, but they have to have a tardy pass before they can go in.  Administration will keep track of the tardies and also take care of the discipline so the teachers have one less thing on their plate to worry about.

These are just some of the changes that will be happening this year and hopefully we can turn our school around for the better! 

Thankful Thursday

This is what I'm most thankful for in my life:

Folk Tales and Fables and Dreams Oh My!

The other day we were at my mom's house and Kaitlyn just wouldn't listen to anything I was saying.  In fact, she would literally do the exact opposite.  My mom piped in and said "You're just like the little frog.  Mommy froggy says do this and little froggy does that.  Mommy froggy says do that and little froggy does this.  So mommy froggy wants to be buried up in the mountains so she doesn't wash away.  She tells little froggy that she wants to be buried by the river because he always does the opposite of what mommy says.  Mommy froggy dies and little froggy says I'm going to honor mommies last wish and buries her by the river.  When it rains little froggy comes out and cries, please don't wash away mommy.  And that's why when it rains all the little froggies come out and cry."  I almost peed my pants I was laughing so hard by the end of the story.  You have to imagine a little Asian woman telling this story with her not so good story-telling ability, in her thick accent and then asking my daughter what frogs say because she doesn't know what they say.

My mother, she has a lot of these little stories, fables and superstitions that she tells us.  Like the reason it rains while the sun is shining bright?  Tigers are mating.  (I have no idea why those two things go together.) Also, you never tell a pregnant woman no.  If you do, the baby will come out cross-eyed.  If you have the habit of shaking your leg, you know, that nervous twitching your foot occasionally does, you are shaking the luck out of your body.  She means that you are shaking out the good luck but we always tell her it's the bad luck leaving.  Also, don't eat sugar.  It causes memory loss and my brother is proof!  There are many, many more, but I can't think of them right now.

She's also believes that every dream has a specific meaning and she's big into dream interpretation.  (Please don't tell her that you had a dream about losing your teeth because then she will worry that you are going to be losing money soon.)  She had a pregnancy dream while pregnant with each of us kids.  I think I love my pregnancy dream the most because she remembers it in the most detail.  She dreamt that she and her best friend at the time were being chased by snakes.  Her friends snake didn't catch her, but instead slithered away.  My mom's snake on the other hand, caught up with her and wrapped itself around her really tight.  Around the time of the dream, not sure if this was before or after, she found out that both she and her friend were pregnant.  Coincidentally, I was born in the year of the snake.  I also have a SUPER close relationship with my mother, which could explain her snake wrapping around her really tight.  Her friend, on the other hand, left her abusive marriage and unfortunately had to leave her son behind and has no relationship with him to this day.  Super freaky if you ask me.

Not that this has anything to do with fables, superstitions or old wives tales, but my mother also happens to be a very good judge of character.  She has this sense of "knowing" who people are in the moment she meets them.  She has this uncanny knack of knowing which friends will be swept away with the wind and those that will stay at your side even in your worst moment.  She even predicted that Jerry and I would get married before we were even really friends.  She was wrong about Kaitlyn being a boy, but I'll forgive her for that one.

I get a kick out of most of my mom's silly stories and sayings and will pass them down to my children so they can laugh and always remember silly grandma.

Little Miss Lucy

Congratulations to my cousin Kelly and her fiance Ritchie.  Today they welcomed their own pink bundle of joy, little Miss Lucy.  She is a big girl already at 9lbs 13oz, OUCH!  She is the 6th baby born into the Kim mafia family over the last 5 years.  She is already loved by many.

Seven is Heaven

My Dearest Tyler,

You are seven months old today.  I know I say this a lot, but I truly cannot believe how fast time is going.  In the blink of an eye you will be off to college and I will be a hot mess.  But enough of that right now because I may just have a mental breakdown. 

You are still the happiest little guy in the whole world.  You are starting to crack yourself up.  Just the other day in the car you blew a raspberry and then you giggled at yourself.  I really hope that you keep on smiling through your life.  It will take you a great many places.

You are eating like a fiend!  You still eat 6 ounces about every 2 1/2 hours.  You are also eating solids about three or four times a day, it just depends on your nap times.  I think when you go back to daycare, you will definitely eat solids about four times a day with less bottles as they don't feed you unless you "ask" for it.

You are starting to army crawl although you still prefer to roll to whatever it is you want.  If you are too far from what you want, you roll as close to it as possible, then you will army crawl the rest of the way.  You are starting to pull your legs under your body so all you have left to figure out now is coordination between your legs and arms. 

I am teaching you sign language, just like I taught your sister.  It seems to calm you down when you are having a fit because I am not getting your food to you fast enough.  You know what the signs for milk and eat mean, but you haven't signed them yet.  It will be soon though, I'm sure of it.

You still only babble da da, but you are starting to add some bahs and gahs.  You are still very vocal nevertheless.  You are most vocal when you are watching your sister run around like a maniac.

You have two little bottom teeth!  So stinking cute.  It makes your pictures so much more adorable even though I can't get a great picture of them yet.  Keep smiling wide for your pictures and I will get them on film.

I am so looking forward to watching you grow into a little man.  I just want you to slow down a bit so I can really enjoy my time with you and your sister.

Love you dearly,
Mommy