January Birthdays

I just realized that Tyler will be one NEXT Friday!  How the hell did that happen?  I really need to get on my horse and get Tyler and Kaitlyn's birthday party planned.  It's in two weeks because we are doing a joint birthday party because we have so many out-of-town family members and it's not fair making them drive down twice in one month, especially since that month is right after Christmas.  We'll probably do joint parties until the kids start to have their friends come over for their parties and then I'll start to do them separately. 

I am going to do a Mickey Mouse Clubhouse theme for them because Kaitlyn is absolutely in love with that show and it's boy friendly too so it all works out well.  I'll mostly decorate with balloons and streamers.  I'm not going overboard like some people do with their kids birthday parties.  My family won't care about decorations anyway.  They'll just be interested in the food.  I am going to do tex mex food with my crock pot chicken tacos as the main course.  Maybe I'll do a black bean soup or chicken tortilla soup in my nice new crock pot I got for Christmas.  I'll have to get one of those little crock pots for queso or a warm spinach and artichoke dip.  Of course I'll have Jerry make his guacamole or my mom will go bat shit crazy.  Everyone loves his guacamole so it's a definite must. 

I'll get their cake from Publix because I know they do a Clubhouse cake and they also do a free smash cake for first birthdays.  They do a really good job with decorating cakes and they taste great too.  I'll get a vanilla cake with strawberry filling because Kaitlyn said she wanted a strawberry cake and she wanted a vanilla cake for Tyler and that will be the perfect combination for her.

We're going to get them a wagon for their gift.  It'll be easier to pull to the park than pushing the stroller.  The stroller takes up the whole sidewalk and I fell bad when people have to walk in the grass just to let us pass.  it will also be easier at Halloween when they are both trick-or-treating.  I haven't decided what smaller things we will get them since they are still overwhelmed by all the stuff they got for Christmas.  Maybe we'll just get the wagon and some clothes.  They didn't get a whole lot of clothes for Christmas and can always use more.

I have so much to do and so little time. 

An Open Letter to My Sperm Donor

Dear Sperm Donor,

I abhor and detest you more than I ever have in my entire life.  That's pretty bad considering our history.  It makes me ill that we have the same blood running through our veins.  What's worse is that my children also have your blood running through their veins and I am appalled.

I wonder all the time if you live in some parallel universe where you are father of the year.  You must; it's the only explanation I have for your delusions of your "relationship" you have with me and my children.  Either that or you're mentally ill which is the rational explanation, but I'm going to stick with the alternate universe theory.

Why am I so angry you ask?  Let me show you.  I am a disappointment to you?  Oh yeah, that's right!  I abandoned YOU at the young age of 10 never to be seen again and only rarely sending you a card on your birthday and Christmas.  Of course let's not forget that lasted only a few short years and then I disappeared until your junior year of college around the time your grandfather passed away. 

You are worried that your "grandchildren" may not know you?  Guess what?  I'm 33 years old and I don't know you!  The VERY few memories I do have of you are mostly negative.  Even the one good memory I do have of you is mostly negative because you thought it would be a good idea to put a little girl on a motorcycle in the middle of WINTER!  Great parenting there.  Maybe that's what got you father of the year in your alternate reality.

I'm not even going to go into the beatings you gave my mother and the anger and hurt that left me with because this is about you and me and why I have cut ties with you.  This is the EXACT reason I disconnected from you.  You stole a picture of MY daughter and Lord knows where it is now on the interweb.  If I want to post pictures of MY beautiful children, then that's MY right, not yours.  You have absolutely ZERO claim to my children and I'm going to keep it that way.  You have proven to me time and time again that you do not deserve me or my children in your life.  You have done nothing for me and I don't expect you to ever do anything for my children, nor do I want you to for that matter.

Sincerely,
The Zygote you happened to create.

Busy Little Bee

I've been super busy at work and at home.  Of course it's always like this around this time of year.  It starts with Halloween, then a birthday for two of my young cousins, then my birthday, an aunt's birthday and then an uncle followed by Thanksgiving, 2 more cousins' birthdays, Christmas, my papa's birthday, new years and then my dad's birthday, Tyler's birthday and the Kaitlyn's birthday.  That's a lot going on in a short amount of time.  Throw in state testing, the end of 1st semester and exams at work and I'm exhausted and ready for a nice long vacation.  I do get a two week winter break at the end of December beginning of January (depends on when we go back to school in August) but I usually spend that time getting ready for Christmas and the many places we will travel on Christmas Eve and Christmas day. 

This year is especially busy for me because my momnesia has been kicking my ass lately.  Instead of doing everything all at once, I have to constantly go to the store because I forgot one little thing and then remember that it really wasn't one thing, it was two and on and on and on.  Not to mention there are three new babies in the family this year and of course I would love to get them something, but since I'd have to ship it, it's really not worth it.  Not to mention these people never remember my children around the holidays so why should I remember theirs?  I know that's kind of a harsh way to look at things, but why would I spend money on other peoples children without their recognition of mine?  I could just spend that money on my children.  Plus, I'm still waiting on a thank-you card for the gifts I gave my cousin, not to mention the 5 bags of baby stuff I gave her for her baby, when her daughter was born.  I'm all about reciprocity.  There are way too many people in my family to buy for around the holidays, so I'll just stick to those who are near and remember me and mine.

Anyway, I'm going to have to do double duty because for whatever reason, my husband keeps forgetting to buy presents for his side of the family.  If I leave it up to him, then it's never going to get done.  I'll ask him for suggestions, but I'm going to end up doing all the ordering and shipping. 

Off to Amazon I go!

Momnesia

If you didn't already know, when you get pregnant your brain gets sucked into your placenta.  Then, when you give birth, they throw away your placenta and you will never be the same again.

I used to have a great memory.  I can remember faces of people who I've only met one and for a brief period.  I can remember things that happen on certain dates like they are important pieces of history.  I remember in vivid details things that happened to me starting at age three.  I can remember conversations and often use them against my husband when we are arguing.

However, since I've had Kaitlyn, I can't remember shit.  Nada, nothing, zero.  It has since gotten worse with Tyler.  If it does not involve my children and their well being and happiness, it must be written down, or it will be forgotten in a matter of minutes because I WILL be distracted by something else.

I have missed meetings, appointments, tutoring sessions, etc.  I have to write everything in my Outlook calendar with reminders going off every 30 minutes if things are going to get done.  I am constantly checking calendars and e-mails to make sure I'm not missing anything.  Last week, I kept reminding myself all day that I had tutoring at 2:00.  I also told myself that I needed to stop by Old Navy on the way home and check to see if they had any sales on winter clothes because she was in desperate need.  By the time 2:00 rolled by, I was ready to pack up and leave school.  We are contracted to stay until 2:20 and unless anyone needs me, I leave.  Of course I forgot about tutoring, but I didn't even remember until the next day when I reminded myself that I had tutoring in the afternoon.  Later that same day, I was thrilled that I realized it was Friday.  Then it hit me that it was FRIDAY, not Thursday and I had missed tutoring.  I fired off an apologetic e-mail to the other teacher who tutors for English.  Of course she was nice about it but I still felt awful for the kids.  I mean, it's not like they're learning rocket science or anything like that, but obviously they need help and I wasn't there to help them. 

So now, EVERYTHING is written in my Outlook calendar with reminders going off every 10 minutes.  I need to learn how to link it to my phone so I still get reminders when I'm at home too.  Gotta love momnesia.

Oh My Eleven!

Tyler is 11 months old today!  I just really can't believe how fast the time does go.  I totally remember when Kaitlyn was 11 months and all the things she did then.

I've said it before and I'll say it again; Tyler is an eating machine.  There isn't ANYTHING that he will not eat.  The other night I gave him a baby pickle to eat and I thought he would make a face and throw it on the floor.  No way, not my kid.  He sucked and chewed on it until I had to fish the too big bite out of his angry mouth and break it in tiny pieces that he could eat.  When I give him mixed veggies he'll eat the peas first, then carrots, then green beans, then the corn.  He does this every time and he is pretty methodical about it.  He's feeding himself with his cute little pincer grasp and drinking water from a sippy cup.  I'm going to start giving him 2 ounces of formula in his sippy cup to help ease the transition away from the bottle when the time comes.  Plus, when he goes into the toddler room, he will have to drink out of a cup all day with no bottles.

Speaking of eating and before transitioning to his next milestone, Tyler will say nom, nom while he eats.  It is the cutest thing ever.  He says it pretty much the whole time he is eating.  His daycare teachers absolutely love it when he does it and encourage him to do it which is fine by me because I encourage it too.

Did you catch that?  He's talking!  And he's signing too!  I was so happy when he signed his first word "more".  He clapped his little hands together and said "mah mah".  I was really thrilled when he also signed "milk".  He'll sign it when he sees his bottle and then as he's drinking it he signs the whole time.  It's really cute.  The most important word he's finally saying now is "Ma Ma"!  I've been waiting so long to hear him say that.  He's been saying da da since he was about 5 or 6 months.  Not actually meaning daddy, just babbling, but he would NEVER babble ma ma.  Now he not only babbles it, he looks at me and says it.  I die from the cuteness.  He also says dog and duck which to someone else may sound the same but even my mom says they sound different to her.

He blows kisses.  Well, he puts his hand up to his mouth if you ask him to blow a kiss.  He'll also give you a kiss if you ask him.  He usually only gives me kisses, but on occasion he will give Kaitlyn, daddy and grandma a kiss if he's in a good mood.  Sometimes you do have to watch out because his kisses can turn into bites on the chin.  OUCH!

He's sooooooooo very close to walking.  He thinks it's so funny when you ask him to try to walk that he usually throws his head back and laugh.  Then of course he falls down and just crawls over to you.  You have to catch him letting go of things and taking steps.  We push the coffee table far away from the couch so he has to take steps.  Most of the time he'll just lower himself down and crawl, but on occasion he will take that one step and continue cruising without missing a beat.  Pretty soon he will gain the confidence to take steps on his own and then it's really going to be a nightmare trying to keep up with him.

He's still such a happy little boy.  He loves his momma the most, but his sister and dog fall a close second.  He gets excited to see any family member that he knows and will show it by going to them even if I am holding him. 

I can't believe that he's been with us for almost a whole year.  Time to start planning his first birthday extravaganza.  (It will be an extravaganza because we are going to celebrate Kaitlyn's third birthday on the same day.  I tend to go overboard with these things :)

So Different

I never realized that having a boy is sooooooooooo much different than having a girl.  Having Kaitlyn and Tyler has opened my eyes to gender differences being nature, not nurture in a big way.

~Kaitlyn LOVED to be swaddled.  She was swaddled for most of the day and all night until she learned how to roll over and even then I just took her arms out and swaddled her bottom half.  I stopped swaddling her around 6 months because by then she could wriggle out of it at night and I didn't feel that was safe.  Tyler HATED it.  He hated having his arms pinned and would fidget like you wouldn't believe.  I still swaddled his lower half and left his arms free at night, but abandoned the swaddle around 3 months.

~Kaitlyn was content in her 5x5 area and played happily and quietly.  As soon as Tyler figured out he could roll, he was out of his playroom.  He had to explore every part of the house even though he had to climb up to get into the next room.  (Our rental house had a lot of sunken areas because it was built on a hill, so every room had a "step up".)

~Kaitlyn was a quiet observer.  She watched very contently to what people were doing and saying, and then would mimic everything.  Tyler is loud!  You know when he's coming and going.  When you try to teach him something, he jumps right in before you finish and it come out half right and half wrong.

~Kaitlyn did not want anything to do with Peanut.  He was a happy dog back then.  She really could have cared less.  Tyler seeks him out and will crawl at lightening speed to get him.  He pulls his fur, ears and tail all the time and constantly head butts him or lays on him.  Peanut spends most of his time on the run.

~Kaitlyn was very cautious.  She really didn't start playing on the playground until she was 2.  She hated to get hurt and tended to stay away from things that could potentially hurt her.  She still freak out if she's even a little bit hurt.  Tyler looks for pain.  He runs head first into everything.  If you tell him to find someone, he spots them in the room and then puts his head down and crawls toward them till he hits them with his head.  He even throws himself on the floor because he thinks it's fun!  I think he's getting a helmet from my mom for Christmas because she HATES that he uses his head as a bettering ram.

~Kaitlyn was always a sound sleeper.  Once she fell asleep, she stayed asleep until it was time for her to wake up in the morning.  She never fussed or really made a peep once she started sleeping through the night at 1 month old.  Tyler moans and groans in his sleep.  He doesn't wake up, but boy is he a noisy sleeper.  Jerry constantly goes in his room to check up on him at night to make sure he's alright and not smashed into his crib rails.  (He usually always is and Jerry will pull him to the bottom of his crib.)  He still sleeps for 10 hours, but it's a restless 10 hours.

There are many other differences, but I don't know how to explain them without talking in circles.  I just never knew how many innate gender differences there are with boys and girls.  I thought it was how children were raised by their parents.  I know now that some things are just programmed into us because of our chromosomes.  Interesting, no?

Hi Yah!

We have signed Kaitlyn up for karate classes that are being offered at her daycare.  The dojo comes to the center on Tuesdays and will accept children starting at 2.  Her first class was yesterday and she absolutely loved it.  When I got home from my late meeting yesterday, she was all excited to show me her karate moves.  She kept running around the house yelling Hi Yah!  Then she would jump in the air and try to kick both legs out.  Not really sure that's what they taught her, but that's what she came away with.  She also said she learned to do elbow drops and it was really cute watching her do it.  She had the biggest smile on her face while she was "demonstrating".

We have already had the talk with her prior to her starting classes that she was not to use what she learned in class on anyone, especially her little brother.  I'm sure they also reinforce this in class because any good Dojo would teach their students that karate is used as a form of exercise and to teach discipline.  Kaitlyn has never been an aggressive kid, so I'm not really worried about her trying to drop and elbow on any of her friends. 

I enrolled Kaitlyn in karate for many reasons, one being I want her to gain a lot more self confidence in herself.  She's a little shy when it comes to defending herself and I want her to be able to tell the more aggressive children what she's feeling without having a meltdown like most kids would.  She has such a little voice that people don't always hear what she's trying to say and I want her to be able to use a big voice to get her point across.  (Note I did not say loud voice.)  I also am tired of her not trying things or giving up on the first try.  I'm hoping karate will teach her perseverance and to keep at things until she gets it done.  I also want Kaitlyn to participate in many different things and this is a really convenient way for her to be active.  She's too young to be running from soccer practice to dance classes to piano lessons, but she's still involved in an activity.  It's really a win win situation in our household and even if she doesn't stick with it in the long run at least she can say she knows karate.