Anyway, I have basically cut all ties with the sperm donor. He was a facebook friend until he kept stealing pictures of Kaitlyn and posting them on his page. He actually had the audacity to claim her as HIS grandchild. Look buddy, you are only related to her because unfortunately I got 50% of your genes...and not even the good ones. She has a grandfather (papa) who she loves dearly and it's not the sperm donor. I don't think that I'll ever allow her to meet him. I don't think I'll even bring him up to her. Although she may wonder who that strange, fat, blonde man is that is in some of my baby pictures. I may just have to bury all evidence of him just so I don't have to explain who he is. (There's not too much evidence of him since he really was never around so it shouldn't be too hard to scrub him from my life.)
I guess I should give some background story on my "daddy issues" and why I pretty much hate the sperm donor. (This could be a long post.) So the sperm donor was in the army and he was stationed in South Korea where he fell in love with a beautiful Korean girl. My mom was only like 20 when she gave birth to me so she had to be like 18 when the met. It was rough for my mom and I don't even know how they communicated because my mom didn't even speak any English...don't even ask how they got through their wedding vows. The sperm donor quickly showed his possessive/jealous side and without getting in to too much detail, he physically abused my mother. She eventually learned to fight back which is probably why she is VERY quick to escalate an argument and jump into a defensive position. (She may also start swinging so I stay a safe distance away.) I don't have very many memories of the sperm donor, but the ones I do have are not great at all. Always my mom and him fighting, sometimes he hit her, sometimes she hit him. I do remember one time looking at my favorite clock and the plastic face was missing. I asked the sperm donor what happened to the front of the clock and he told me that he got mad and hit it with his fist. We moved around a lit in the states, I was born in Korea if you didn't know, and my mom and I were home alone a lot. It was better that way because there was no fighting. When the sperm donor was there, there was always fighting.
I don't know when my mom had enough and gathered the strength to finally dump that dead weight. I know my mother's younger sisters were living with us and I was in elementary school, so we'll leave it at that. I do remember it was much more peaceful in the house with the exception of me tormenting my two aunts. (That is for another post though.) After my parents divorced, I didn't see much of the sperm donor. He left for New Jersey when I was 10 and I lost all communication with him when we moved to Deltona; think middle school aged, 6th grade. He caught up with me when I was in college-meaning he finally spoke with his adoptive mother and she gave him my address and he sent me a card. It was a birthday card for my 21st birthday. It had a Barbie on the front of it and it was covered in glitter. I was laughing at the ridiculousness of the card fit for a 5 year old and I was in hysterics at the fact that I had just received communication from him after about 10 years. I don't know who I called first, but I'm sure I was a hot mess and made no sense at all through my sobs. Of course I did not reciprocate with a thank you card or any type of correspondence. I just simply ignored it in my passive-aggressive way and hoped the
Wow, this is getting to be a long post, so I'll make it a two parter.
To be continued.......
No comments:
Post a Comment