Double Standard?

I don't make it a secret that it took us 7 years to have Kaitlyn, but it's also not the first thing I tell people.  (I don't think my family realizes this little fact.)  I never worried about getting pregnant or having a baby.  I was really very ignorant to the fact that many women suffer silently from infertility.  I'm in no way an expert on infertility, but I do know a lot more now than I did a few years ago, mainly from reading blogs. 

I do empathize with women who desperately want to have children and are experiencing major hurdles along their journey to becoming a mother.  I can't imagine, nor do I pretend to understand, what it must feel like to be stuck in that situation.  I love my children dearly and could not imagine a life without them.

I do have one major gripe with the IF community, however.  I've read multiple blogs where the blogger is spewing rage and hate towards "fertile" women who announce their pregnancies on Facebook, twitter or through other social media outlets.  I've also read some IF bloggers state that no fertile woman could love their child(ren) as much as an infertile woman because the "fertile" woman did not have to struggle or fight for their child(ren).  They also spew a lot of rage and hatred when a "fertile" woman slips up and has a human moment and gripes about how how motherhood is, but in the same sentence will gripe about how hard motherhood is!  What kind of BS is that?  It's almost as if they are saying that "fertile" women can't celebrate pregnancy and motherhood and that they are the best mothers in the world.

I get that infertility is a tough road to travel.  It isn't fair that healthy, stable, mature women have to struggle with becoming a mother, while at the same time, MTV slaps us all in the face with 16 and Pregnant and Teen Mom.  I wouldn't wish infertility on my worst enemy, but it's also not fair to throw venom in the faces of those of us who don't have to struggle.  It especially enrages me when someone implies that I'm am not as good a mother as they are because I didn't suffer for my children.  Who the hell are you to tell me that I am not as good a mother as you?  I love my children with every fiber of my being and would walk to the very ends of the Earth for them.  Do I get annoyed with them?  Of course I do!  I am a human being and am not infallible.  Yes it gets annoying when I've struggled all day to meet the needs of a two year old and he still wants to fight me on whether or not he wants to go to sleep at night even though he is clearly exhausted.  Do I get to express that?  Abso-freaking-lutely!  Does it mean I love him any less?  HELL NO!

It also peeves me that because some women suffer from infertility, the rest of the world can't celebrate the conception or birth of a child.  I understand that some of your closet friends need to be a bit more sensitive and maybe tell you first and break it to you gently, but they get to celebrate and be happy for crying out loud!  They shouldn't have to walk on eggshells or worry about posting their ultrasound pictures on Facebook without first consulting their IF friends.  I'm sure they are not wishing and praying that you don't get your happy ever after while they get to bask in all the glory of being pregnant. 

I know, I know, I wandered into their world, it's their blog they can do whatever they want, blah, blah, blah, but I think that a different point of view needs to be seen.  (And of course not all IF bloggers are spewing rage and hate all over their blogs, but I really hate when I come across one who does.)