Third baby...Maybe

So it is no secret in my family that I want another child.  Mostly because I love my children to death and would love to have a whole gaggle of them.  (Not really, three is plenty.  I'm not Michelle Duggard.)  A little part of me would like to give Tyler a little brother.  He's the only boy out of 7 little cousins and I feel bad that he doesn't have another little rough and tumble boy to play with at family gathering.  Right now the girls don't care that he's a boy and they let him play, but soon they won't.  I don't know when little boys and girls learn that they can't play with each other because girls play house and with dolls and boys play army and with trucks, but they do eventually learn that somewhere.  I try really hard not to push gender stereotypes onto my children, but right now they are a little young to get all philosophical with so simple and easy usually wins in our house.  For example when Kaitlyn says "Boys don't wear makeup" I just say "Well the boys in our family don't."  Later when she's older and able to understand it's ok to be different, then we can get into more details.  I also don't mind that Tyler is constantly walking around in my high heels or that he prefers to wear the skirts in the dress up clothes.

Anyway, I really want a third child and I think I just convinced my husband to have one.  He's been hemming and hawing about the idea and trying to skip over the conversation or just burst my bubble completely.  Of course all his arguments are rational, we can't afford to pay for three daycare tuitions and we can't afford for me not to work right now.  (Unless of course we dramatically change our spending habits.)  We already have two perfect children, one boy, one girl.  We just bought a house and it only has three bedrooms; where would the new baby sleep?  All rational arguments and I'll admit we probably should not have another baby right now, but it doesn't mean that we can't EVER have another baby. 

And then there are my own arguments with myself that make me rethink my desire for another child.  Silly little things like what if the new baby's birthday is not in January like Kaitlyn and Tyler?  We are very close to start potty training Tyler, do I really want to go through the whole changing diapers stage?  Both my kids are sleeping well, do I really have it in me to wake up 3-4 times a night?  Do I want to go through the whole washing bottles/breast pump ordeal?  It's so easy to stick sippy cups in the dishwasher or just throw them away and buy new ones if they get too icky.  Can I handle another pregnancy while working full-time with two kids?  Luckily both of my pregnancies were easy and problem free but it was very difficult being pregnant and working full-time.  I'm exhausted right now and I'm not even pregnant.

And then I see them, my sweet, beautiful children and I forget about everything except that I would LOVE to have another.  So, do we go for it or not?  We will make that decision when Tyler turns 3, which by the way is next year.  Kaitlyn will be out of day care that year and Tyler will get another reduction in his fees.  Who knows, maybe by then this feeling of needing another child will diminish completely.  Only time will tell.