Cry Me a River

I will never understand why parents are so against letting their children cry.  Have you ever read a story in the news where a child died because they cried too much?  I know I never have.  I have also let both my children *gasp* cry!  They are both healthy and well adjusted children.  Dare I say they are even very happy!  I know I've mentioned before that Tyler is the happiest baby in the whole world.

Sometimes children need to cry.  Hell, sometimes adults need to cry too!  If I have tried everything in my power to meet my children's needs and they are still crying, I let them.  I let them be alone in their rooms and let them cry.  I check on them to make sure they are safe, but I let them cry.  After 5 or ten minutes, I will go in and comfort them and talk to them about how they are feeling.  Of course this works better with Kaitlyn because she can talk back and tell me how she is feeling.

The only time I feel it's not ok to cry is when someone takes a toy or other wanted item away from Kaitlyn.  I always tell her to use her words and ask for whatever it is back.  I want her to be able to communicate that taking things away from her is not ok, but no one will ever know that if she just screams or cries.  She is really good right now at asking for her things back.  It usually comes out as "That's not nice!  Give me back my  insert object here."  We are working on the manners part, but at least she's using her words.

I feel like telling a child that it's not ok to cry is like stifling their emotions.  I know a person who hates to cry and even hates to show any emotion.  She just bottles everything up and puts on a happy face for the rest of the world.  Unfortunately, she had a sort of a mental break recently.  I will not go into the details of what happened because it is not my story to tell.  However I will say that crying was not allowed by her father.  Crying was looked down upon and stifled, even made fun of.  Not a healthy environment if you ask me.

I am definitely not saying that you should allow your child to cry uncontrollably all day and all night.  That would probably drive everyone bat shit crazy, but letting them cry it out every once in awhile never hurt anyone.  The most important thing is to talk to your child, no matter how old, about how they are feeling and the reasons behind why they are crying.  (If your child is really young, you could always teach them sign language so they can communicate with you.)  Let the tears flow.  It's such a release and everyone needs a good cry now and then, especially children.