Did She Really Just Say That?

So because a few of my friends and family members are having some fertility issues, I have come to read some blogs of women who are also having the same issues.  I'm trying to learn more of what it's like to be on the outside looking in.  I am blessed with two very beautiful children that I adore and love more than anything in the world.  I now understand that I could never imagine not having them, which is why it pains me to see people hurting over not being able to conceive.  I want to be more understanding to the infertile ladies (or gentlemen in one case) in my life.  I want to know what to say, how to say and most importantly, what NOT to say.  (Relax seems to be a BIG no, no when talking to an infertile.)  I tend to have A LOT of open mouth, insert foot moments because I have diarrhea of the mouth and am VERY opinionated.  I want to understand all the ins and outs of really trying to conceive a child and give support where I can, and shut up and really listen for a change.

Anyway, I was reading a blog about a woman who has been trying to conceive for around two years now and something in her post really pissed me off.  She said something like women who get pregnant easily or by accident don't truly appreciate the miracle of conception.  (Not a direct quote, but it was definitely along those lines.)  Someone else also commented that they would appreciate every minute of morning sickness and every ache and pain if when they get pregnant.  (Yeah, we'll hold you to that mkay.)  WTF does that mean anyway?  I almost feel like she was saying that (I) didn't/don't appreciate my children.  Just because I didn't have to chart, or take my temperature every morning or POS or wait for AF to arrive doesn't mean I don't appreciate what a miracle it is to conceive a child.  Obviously I know that the timing has to be perfect.  Hell, we didn't use any type of contraception for over ten years before we had Kaitlyn.  I reveled in my pregnancy and wanted to learn every little stinking thing there was to know about it.  I read "What to Expect" cover to cover.  I subscribed to BabyCenter.com to get those weekly development updates to read how my little bean was progressing.  I scoured the Internet looking for any information about fetal development making sure I didn't eat or drink the wrong thing to cause my baby to be unhealthy.  I watched my belly like a hawk to see any kind of movement I could of my children.  I did enjoy being pregnant, knowing that I was growing a little human inside of me and the wonder of it all.  I don't think that you have to suffer to appreciate things in life.

I'm just really put off by infertiles when they say things like this particular woman did.  I can empathize with them because I know the joy my children bring to me.  I can't even imaging what I would have done if I found out that I couldn't get pregnant.  Not having children was definitely a deal breaker in any of my relationships.  I knew I would never marry a man that didn't want kids.  (Now if only I could change his mind about how many, we would live in a perfect world.)  But just because I have children and it was, fairly, easy for me to get pregnant, does in no way mean that I don't appreciate the miracle of conception, pregnancy and birth. 

I won't tell you to relax and not think about it so please don't tell me I didn't appreciate my pregnancy.

P.S. To the infertile who said she would savor every pain and bouts with morning sickness, watch out when you do get pregnant because Karma she is a bitter bitch.